If I Did it All Again

If I did it all again

I’d Love you like there was no end

Love had deserted me

I never deserved it

 

From where I found myself

I could not ask for help

I was swimming out of my depth

A disorientated heart,

Reaching for anything to make it feel less

Something other than this pain

But it did not make it heal

And I went swimming out again

 

I wanted to change my life

Tried to do it overnight

To rid myself of everything I knew

That never included you

 

If I did it all again

I’d Love you like there was no end

I was on self destruct

You were not to blame

 

I have said it once before

I wish I had been less difficult to Love

But I said it all too late

I would not Love me, yet

You never once complained

 

If I did it all again

I’d Love you like there was no end

You never deserted me

I never deserved this